Can't Handle the Truth
by dumbandhappy
Summary: Nick is attacked in his own home but he can't handle what happened to him, will he self destruct or turn to someone for help? will he ever find out who attacked him? WARNING NON CON! Don't read if you don't like this kind of story
1. Chapter 1

Hi here is my next story and warning this story will involve non con, I don't own CSI or anything to do with it so please don't sue me.

Nick lay there on his bed thinking of the past few days, it had been a tough case to handle but they eventually caught the man who killed three young children while they were sleeping. He lay in his bed restless, he could not sleep, perhaps a shower would help him relax so he jumped out of his bed and headed towards the bathroom, he switched on the shower and let it run for a few moments before slipping off his boxers and jumping in. The hot water instantly soothed his aching muscles and immediately began to feel relaxed. While Nick let the water run off his toned body something was happening outside.

A man entered into Nick's house and made his way easily through each room of the house stopping at the bathroom door which was slightly ajar, he smiled at the sight in front of him a naked man drying himself off with a towel. He slowly walked down the hallway and into the bedroom waiting for the perfect moment.

Nick dried himself off before wrapping the towel round his waist and headed out of the bathroom, he headed straight for the kitchen and grabbed himself a beer, he twisted off the cap and allowed for the beer to coolly flow down his throat, he felt instantly satisfied and placed the half empty beer bottle next to the fridge. Nick headed towards the bedroom and threw the towel onto his bed, he walked towards the drawers next to his bed and pulled out a pair of boxers, before he could slide them on an arm wrapped round his neck and pulled him onto the bed, Nick could not move, fear paralysed him, he did not know what was going on, all he knew was that he was being attacked in his own home.

It took a few minutes for Nick to realise what was happening in his own home and he began to struggle, Nick pushed the intruder off of him and he quickly moved towards his gun, before Nick could get anywhere close to the gun the intruder grabbed Nick by the ankles and pulled him off the bed, Nick's head smacked off the floor making him dazed and confused, he could do little to prevent what was happening, Nick tried to struggle but it felt as though his head was screaming and struggling while his body failed to move. Nick was restrained by the tie that was placed round his curtains and he was quickly pulled onto his bed. Out of fear and panic Nick began to shout at the intruder

"Listen I don't know who you are but just take what you want and leave!"

Nick sat there praying that the intruder would do just that but the intruder remained silent, Nick watched him as he raided through his personal possessions, he felt sick at the thought of someone touching his clothes and spraying his aftershave. Nick tried to struggle out of his restraints but it had very little effect, suddenly the intruder began to walk closer to Nick's side of the bed and opened up the drawer next to him, Nick could do nothing but watch as he pulled out his gun and badge, he could see a smile spread across the intruders face and something about that smile scared Nick, it scared him so much that being tied up felt like the least of his problems. Nick suddenly began to realise that he was naked and tied to his bed, he knew he had to escape but the restraints were too tight and cutting into his wrists. A plan could not be formulated in his head quickly enough before the intruder began to speak:

"So your CSI level 3 Nick Stokes or do people call you Nicky?"

"It's Nick" he dryly responded"

"So what do you do? Solve crime?"

"Pretty much"

The intruder flipped open the badge and closed it as though it was a toy. Nick was becoming increasingly scared as the intruder dropped the badge on the floor and picked up the gun. Nick could see that the intruder was no stranger to a gun, he clearly knew his way round the weapon. The intruder walked closer and closer to Nick, Nick began to breath heavier and heavier and sweat began to drip down his face, Nick began to struggle with his restraints and screamed out in frustration

"Let me go you sick fuck!" Nick screamed out in both desperation and fear

The intruder stood there laughing watching as he tried to escape.

"You are not going to get out of those restraints anytime soon"

"Why, why are you doing this?"

"Why am I doing this? I don't really know, I walk by, drive by a house like the look of it so I break in, if it's empty then I steal what I like if it's not empty then I get to have some fun"

Fear struck Nick, he began to panic at the comments the intruder was making.

"So Nick are you and your little lab friends going to solve this crime?"

Nick sat there in silence which angered the intruder, he lifted the gun and thrashed it down onto Nick stomach causing him to howl in pain and gasping for breath.

"Now are you going to answer me!"

"Yes I guess so"

"Well are you going to investigate what I have in store for you"

"W…what do you mean?"

"Well Nick I plan to have some fun with you, I feel as though we have connected through this time don't you think?"

Nick started to panic and hyperventilate, fear evident in his voice

"P...p…please just leave, I won't tell anyone, just leave" Desperation was clearly evident but nothing stopped the intruder.

"Now, now Nick desperation is not attractive to a guy a like me"

Before Nick could even beg or plead the intruder climbed onto the bed and sat on top of his chest, Nick's chest tightened and he was finding it hard to breath, tears started to flow down Nick's cheek, the intruder began to roll his finger down Nick's stomach causing him to breathe quicker.

"Now, now Nicky everything will be ok, I'll take care of you" At that the intruder leant over and moved towards Nick's ear

"I'll be gentle"

Nick again tried to struggle and break free but the intruder punched him in the face causing his lip too burst and start bleeding.

"Stop struggling it will only hurt you more"

Nick did not stop, he pushed and he pulled and he wriggled, he tried everything to break free but the intruder eventually moved so that he had pinned Nick's legs and held onto his wrists so that he would stop moving.

Nick sat there defeated he now knew that he could do nothing, Nick started to feel sick, someone was in his house and was going to rape him and he could not do anything about it. Nick lay there trying to think of something else while the intruder cruelly played with him.

Suddenly the intruder leapt off of Nick

"I'm bored" he stated

Nick finally breathed a sigh of relief it was over, he was going to go,

"Just take what you want and leave"

"Oh Nicky I want you"

Nick's eyes widened, he was wrong it was not over it was just beginning.

The intruder slid off his jacket and dropped it on the floor and quickly pulled his T-shirt over his head, Nick noticed the tattoo on the left hand side of the intruders back and quickly made a mental image of it, The intruder walked towards Nick unbuckling his belt. Nick tried to move back as much as possible but the intruder pulled his legs so that they were lying flat on the bed. Within minutes the intruder was standing there in just his underwear, he pulled them off and was quickly on top of Nick but this time he was holding the gun. Nick could not move out of fear, he felt sick and repulsed at the thought of what was going on. The intruder slipped on a condom and forcefully raped Nick.

Nick screamed out at the sudden onslaught of pain, tears streamed down his face and all that he could say was "NO!" the pain was too much he began to feel dizzy and eventually passed out from the pain.


	2. Chapter 2

Nick lay there watching the clock 4 hours had passed since the intruder had entered his home and he was still there. Nick was in pain, he was sore, tired and had no energy to resist or speak. He lay there as the intruder spoke to him but Nick remained silent. Nick hoped that it would soon be all over. Nick lay on the bed for another hour when the intruder eventually began to put his clothes on.

"You know Nick that was fun" he said while sliding on his T-shirt "We should do it again sometime"

Nick sat there in silence; he could not look or even speak to his rapist. This angered the intruder who walked over to him and smacked Nick across the chest with the buckle of his belt. This caused Nick to howl out in pain.

"Aarghh, Stop, please stop!"

"Well answer me Nick; we should do this again, shouldn't we?"

"Yes"

"Now that's better isn't it?"

"Yes"

The intruder zipped up his jeans and put his jacket on, he walked closer to Nick and slapped his cheek twice in a playful way

"See you later Nicky my boy, I'll see ya around"

At that the intruder walked out of Nick's bedroom and left his house. Nick was finally alone at last. It was not quick or sudden it happened slowly, a few tears strolled down his face which he quickly wiped away but the tears kept flowing he could not stop, he sat there on his bed not knowing what to do,

A thought suddenly went running through Nick's mind, the door was unlocked, he could come back. Nick jumped up of his bed, pain surging through all parts of his body and ran to the front door, he quickly locked the door and pulled a chair up to it blocking anyone from getting in, he quickly checked the rest of the house locking all the windows and closing all the curtains, once he felt a little bit safer he fell to the ground and wept, after sitting there for what seemed like forever he could hear a beeping noise coming from his bedroom. Nick jumped up and stepped away from the bedroom door, he was scared but eventually he began to head towards the bedroom, he walked slowly and quietly but the beeping was still going strong. He reached the bedroom and nervously pushed open the door. He quickly scanned the room and noticed the beeping noise was coming from beside his bed, it was his alarm clock.

Nick instantly relaxed but soon felt a sudden urge of anger at being scared by his own alarm clock. He knew he had to start getting ready for work but he didn't he could not face it; he started to walk over to the phone but stopped when he looked at the mess surrounding him. He started pulling the sheets and duvet covers off the bed and began to roll them up in a ball, he picked up the towel he was wearing before the attack and headed straight to the washing machine. He went back into his bedroom and grabbed a first aid kit and began to clean the cuts he endured during the attack.

Once finished Nick looked around at the bedroom, flashbacks of what happened only hours ago came rushing back to him, he felt angry, scared, sick and confused, the mix of emotions not helping him to understand why? He looked at the gun which was forced to open his mouth… Nick shuddered at the thought of what happened next and as tears began to flow he picked up the gun and threw it across the room smashing a mirror in the progress causing it too break into hundred of pieces. He walked over to his cupboard and began to pull out the clothes that the intruder wore and threw them into the bin next to his bed. He stood up and walked over to his dresser and quickly swept his arms over it causing bottles of aftershave, photos and a lamp to fall crashing to the ground.

Still naked Nick grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom, switching the shower on he jumped in and began to scrub himself, Nick pushed through the pain he was suffering from and was glad the bandages round his wrist was keeping his wounds clean, No matter how hard he scrubbed he could not get rid of how dirty he was feeling. As he scrubbed and scrubbed away he moved closer to the floor and was soon sitting in his shower letting the warm water splash down on him, curled up in a ball he sat there not knowing what to do next…

At the lab Grissom kept looking at the clock, he knew that Nick was never late and he was starting to worry about him. He thought to himself that he would give it ten more minutes before checking on him. At that moment Catherine walked in and noticed the worry etched across Grissom's face.

"Gil are you ok?"

"Yeah, just a bit worried Nick has not shown up for his shift"

"Nick is never late, have you tried calling him?"

"Yeah but there is no answer on his cell or home"

"You wanna go round and see if he is ok?"

Nick looked at the clock one more time and nodded; he stood up and along with Catherine headed out of the lab and towards their SUV…

Nick looked around his house at the mess he just made, his living room looked as though it had been ransacked, the table which was once in the middle of the room was now strewn across the floor broken into two pieces, glass littered the whole living room and his bookshelf was now lying, broken on the floor with books thrown all over the place. He sat in the corner of the room furthest away from the door drinking a bottle of vodka.

Nick poured himself another glass of vodka and drank it straight, not given the desired effect Nick tossed the glass causing it to smash against the opposite side of the wall; Nick began to drink straight from the bottle. He was suddenly startled by a knock at the door, Nick was too scared to open the door, and he tried to bury himself deeper into the corner…

Catherine and Grissom knocked on Nick's door and waited for a response. After no response they knocked on the door again and waited. A thought rushed through Catherine's mind and she ran back to the SUV to grab her purse. She quickly looked through it and grabbed a key. Walking back up she smiled at Grissom who was giving her a confused look.

"Nick gave me a key"

Catherine inserted the key and turned it to open the door…

Nick could hear the key in the lock and he began to panic, he had nowhere to hide, he was suddenly feeling all exposed, he held tight of the bottle in a hope that if anything were to happen he could use it at least to try and escape…

Catherine pushed open the door but it did not budge, something was blocking the way, she tried and tried but to no avail. Catherine moved out the way and Grissom tried but again nothing happened. Eventually they gave up and headed back to the lab.

"Do you think he is ok?" Catherine asked

"I don't know, he isn't at home and he has not phoned"

At that Grissom's phone started ringing; he flipped it open to see that Nick was calling him, instantly he answered it.

"Nick where are you?" Grissom asked sounding worried, Catherine looked over at Grissom.

"Oh hey, hi Griss, I'm sorry I just woke up"

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine just come down with something, I'm sorry I didn't call sooner, I am just totally out of it"

"That's fine, just as long as you're ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine I will see you tomorrow"

Nick quickly hung up the phone and drank the rest of the vodka

Grissom slipped the phone back into his pocket and looked over at Catherine

"Is Nick ok?"

"Yeah he just has the cold; he said he is just rundown and slept through his alarm"

"And us knocking at the door?"

"Yeah I wondered that myself, he must be really ill"

"You don't sound too sure?"

"I don't know he just sounded different"

Catherine looked back at the road before speaking

"I'm sure he just tired that's all"

"I hope you're right"

Nick sat there and finished the last of the vodka, he was kicking himself for being too scared to open the door too Catherine and Grissom, he wondered if he opened the door that everything would be ok again. Of course it wouldn't Nick thought to himself, how stupid, nothing would ever be the same again. He sat there wondering how to go on and no matter how many ways he looked at it Nick could not see a way of getting through this. How could he look at his friends every day not being able to share one of the darkest and intruding nights of his life. He decided enough was enough, he could not cope with this any longer, he staggered towards the bedroom and picked up the gun from the floor, he sat on the edge of the bed and with tears streaming down his face he aimed the gun towards his head and fired…

Please read and review, please!!!!!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

Hi please read and review.

He sat on the edge of the bed and with tears streaming down his face he aimed the gun towards his head and fired…

The gun clicked, Nick opened his eyes and quickly checked the barrel of the gun, it was empty, there were no bullets, he quickly jumped off the bed and threw the gun away. He began to pace up and down his room, what was he doing? Why did he think that taking his life would save him? Nick's mind was racing with plenty of thoughts and questions but he somehow failed to formulate any answers. Nick paced up and down furiously trying to think why he would take his own life. He wept at the thought that he could inflict such pain on his friends and family. He knew how each of his friends would react:

Grissom would remain professional but inside he would be hurting. Nick knew from his kidnapping that Grissom built a barrier around him so that he would not let anyone in, so that no one could hurt him.

Catherine would try and keep the team together while Grissom would hide away in his office. She would however be grieving the loss of what could only be described as a son too her. Nick knew they formed a close bond over the years, she always knew when something was up with him. He knew that he would have to try and hide his pain when he went back to work.

Sara would be devastated but she would be angry at Nick for taking his life. She had endured enough heartache as a child and now one of her friends could not bear to be with her.

Greg would be his usual happy self but inside he would be aching, Greg like Grissom built a barrier around him. Humour was a defence mechanism for coping with the horrors of the job. Everyone would know that it was just a front and eventually Catherine would comfort him as he drowned his sorrows.

Warrick would be hit the hardest, it would be down to Grissom and Greg to prevent him from delving back into his past and gamble. Warrick would mourn the loss of his best friend. He would become solemn and withdrawn and would feel guilty for not being there.

They would all however have one question… Why? Why would Nick kill himself? They would all feel guilty in their own way for not being here. They would all wonder if they could have helped him get through whatever problem he was suffering from.

Nick felt disgusted with himself, he was angry for ever considering to end it all. Nick stood up and exited the bedroom he grabbed another bottle of vodka from the kitchen and sat down on the floor. He knew he did not want to die but he head to forget, he had to forget the smell, the taste, the feel and the weight of his intruder. He drank as much of the bottle as he could before falling into a drunken sleep.

Back at the lab Grissom and Catherine went through Nick's work from the previous night hoping to solve the case before he was better. They worked in silence both worried about Nick. They did not believe Nick when he phoned but they could do nothing except wait. Wait for Nick to come to them. At that moment Warrick walked in and smiled at them, noticing the look of worry on both faces he looked at them:

"Hey what's up?"

Catherine looked up and stared at him

"Oh nothing Nick called in sick"

"Is he ok?"

"Oh yeah he said he is fine, just a stomach bug"

"But…?"

"Well me and Grissom went to his house but when I tried the key he has something jamming the door plus he never phoned until after his shift was meant to have started"

"Do you want me to go round and see him?" Warrick asked

Grissom quickly responded:

"No we are one down and a Brass has just responded to a multiple in Henderson, I want you and Greg to deal with it".

Warrick nodded and began to head out of the evidence room

"Take Sara if it looks bad" Grissom shouted, Warrick waved his hand in response and headed to the scene.

Nick opened his eyes and his whole kitchen was spinning, everything was blurry and felt sick, it took him a few minutes to gain focus but he suddenly began to panic, a tall dark shadow looked down at Nick smiling at him. He quickly tried to stand up but he was pushed down to the floor. He was back and was on top of him, Nick tried to struggle but the smell and feel of him on top of Nick overwhelmed him. He could not move and began to panic when his jeans were pulled off…

Nick woke up screaming and quickly ran to the toilet to be sick. He sat there breathing very quickly and sweating trying desperately to calm down. He could still feel the drink inside him and was still feeling slightly woozy so he remained in the toilet until he felt better.

Nick checked the time, it had been almost a full 24 hours since his attack and he could not cope with the fact that in another 16 hours he would have to go back to work and face his friends. He was scared to face them, he did not know what he would say to them, would he tell them the truth? Or would he keep quiet? He finally decided that he would keep quiet, they would not understand, how could they? Nick knew that if they found out they would treat him like a kid, that was something he could not handle.

As soon as Nick felt better he stood up and headed towards his room, but as soon as he walked in he could not cope, he felt sick again. He could not stay in that room. He walked into the spare bedroom and felt a little bit safer. He slipped under the covers and quickly fell asleep however it was not peaceful.

Warrick, Greg and Sara jumped out of the SUV and ducked under the crime tape, they walked straight over to Brass who was taking a statement from the person who found the body. Brass stopped talking and walked over to the CSI'S.

"Hey Jim what we got?"

"4 dead, one on route to hospital"

"How he doing?" Sara asked

"The kid is in pretty bad shape, medics don't know if he will make it"

Warrick surveyed the scene and headed into the house, Greg and Sara followed.

"Hey Brass where are they?"

"They are all in the parents room at the end of the hall"

"That's weird" Greg replied

They walked too the end of the hall and stepped into the parent's bedroom, blood spatter covered the walls as the bodies lay on a heap near the base of the bed. There was a huge pool of blood where the bodies lay and another pool of blood on the bed.

"What is Sara" responded

"Why is there a huge pool of blood on the bed when it seems all the vics were killed over there"

At that Brass jumped in

"The kid that survived was found on the bed"

"What age was the kid?" Warrick asked

"21, he was home for the weekend from university"

"So why was he on the bed when the rest of his family were on the floor" Greg asked, immediately once he said it he realised

"OH"

"Yeah it appears as though the kid was sexually assaulted"

"In front of his family" Greg shouted "That's sick"

Brass nodded his head and left them to it.

Nick was having another nightmare and woke up soaking with sweat and fear in his eyes, it took him a few minutes to calm down but fear took over when he heard someone at his front door. Nick jumped out of bed and crouched down on the floor so that no one could see him. He waited for a few minutes before heading to the front door, he looked through the peep hole and saw nothing. Unlocking the door and moving the chair away he gently opened the door. Nick noticed a note and a rose attached to his door, he picked it up and read the note before quickly dropping it, slamming the door shut and jamming the chair against it. Nick backed away frightened and scared before picking the note up again, blinking back tears Nick stared at the note:

"_To my friend Nick, enjoyed last night, see you around"_

Nick walked straight to the kitchen and grabbed the last of the vodka.

Please read and review.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi well here is the next chapter to those of you who are still interested. I was away for over a year and half in loads of different countries and sometimes had little or no internet access. Please read and review. And again I don't own CSI or its characters, it belongs to someone else!!!

At the scene Warrick, Sara and Greg were busy collecting evidence. Sara was taking multiple photographs of the bedroom, Greg was collecting samples of blood which were to be sent straight to DNA, and Warrick was analysing the bed checking for seminal fluid and anything else that could of been important.

Sara stared at the blood stained walls and kept clicking the button on her digital camera, she had seen some things in her career as a CSI but nothing had prepared her for this. It looked as though every drop of blood had been emptied out of the victims and onto the wall and the floor. She had to be very careful sp that she did not step in any of the blood. The last thing they needed was to compromise the evidence.

Greg kept swabbing the blood, sample after sample. He was hoping that just one spot of blood would be from the killer. Greg looked at the victims and was saddened at the thought of what went on here only a few hours ago. He could not comprehend how someone could kill a 12 year old boy and a 16 year old girl along with their parents, but what he could not cope with was the fact that they sat and watched as their 21 year old son and brother was raped and beaten to an inch of his life. '_if it happened to me I would rather be dead than have to live with the fact that I was raped and my family murdered' _Greg thought to himself.

Warrick scoured the bed hoping to find one bit of evidence, so far he had found nothing. He was hoping that once it was back at the lab he could get a closer look. The only thing that was evident was the amount of blood on the sheet. He shuddered at the thought of how bad a beating the kid got. The blood had seeped through the sheets and the mattress and was starting to drip onto the carpet under the bed.

Once they finished collecting the evidence in the bedroom they started to check the rest of the house. Sara found nothing as she searched room to room. Greg found signs of a struggle in both the young boys and the girls' bedroom, however nothing caught his eye. Warrick walked slowly into the older boy's bedroom and scanned over the room. He noticed the duvet crumpled on the floor, his bedside table was on its side with all its contents strewn all over the floor. He also saw what appeared to be drag marks on the carpet. He started to take photos and collected some fibres from the carpet. He also dusted the bedside table for fingerprints. Warrick turned around and was about to leave when he noticed something attached to the door. He collected it and opened the envelope. What Warrick read made him feel physically sick. Warrick placed the letter inside an evidence bag. He then collected the red rose which was also attached to the door and placed that inside an evidence bag.

At that they headed back to the lab to process the evidence. They sat in the SUV in silence. They all had the same fear but no one could or wanted to vocalise it. They each feared that this was just the beginning.

Nick woke up feeling slightly hungover. He knew he had to be in the lab in less than three hours but the thoughts of what happened to him scared him. He did not know whether or not he could face his friends. He was still feeling sore and the cuts on his wrist from the handcuffs still ached. Eventually he sat up and got out of bed. He had a shower and got changed for work, he had to take clothes from the laundry room as he could not face going anywhere near his own bedroom. He then headed towards the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He hoped that he this would rid him of his thumping headache. He grabbed his keys and began to head towards the door... he stopped in his tracks. Nick's gun and badge was in his bedroom, he had to get it otherwise he would be written up on a disciplinary. At this point Nick thought the disciplinary was a better option, but he feared that this would arouse suspicion among his colleagues and friends. They would ask him questions and that was the last thing he wanted. Nick walked closer and closer to his bedroom, his heart pumping, sweat dripping from his face; he began to shake as he opened the door. As he walked in flashbacks started to happen. He began to panic, his breathing got heavy and he began to feel sick. He saw his badge and gun lying on the floor. He ran over and grabbed them off the floor; he then ran out of the room and ran to the toilet where he was sick. Once Nick regained some composure he stood up and headed towards the door. He opened it slowly and took a deep breath. The harsh sunlight caused Nick to close his eyes. He walked down the stairs of his house and opened the driver's seat door; he switched on the ignition and drove off.

15 minutes later Nick drove into the labs car park, he stopped and sat there for a few moments. He was scared; he did not want to go in. Once inside he thought everyone would know what had happened to him, he knew that they were all good at what they did, they would know, they would have to know. How could they not. Nick sat there thinking of all of this and took a huge breath and stepped out of his car.

"Here we go" Nick thought to himself.

Please read and review.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi here is the next part.

Nick pushed open the doors to the lab and walked in. He walked by reception and straight into the locker room where he sat down and placed his car keys next to him. Sitting there listening to all the hustle and bustle made him feel safe. He felt that no one could hurt him with all these people in the lab. He started to wonder why he was afraid to go into the lab in the first place...

"Hey Nick, How you feeling?" a chatty Greg said as he walked into the locker room wearing another of his zany t-shirts.

'That's why' Nick thought. Nick sat there and gave his best grin as possible:

"I'm fine man, thanks for asking. What you doing?"

"Ah I spilled some soda all over my t-shirt" Greg grinned as he whipped off his top and threw it on bench next to Nick.

Nick smiled and looked down at his phone which was now vibrating. His smile disappeared as it was a number he did not recognise. He did not want to answer it, but he was afraid Greg would notice how scared he was. Nick looked over at Greg who was flexing his muscles in the mirror and making funny faces. Any other day Nick would laugh out loud at the sight but today he was glad Greg was distracted. Nick rejected the call and placed it down. He then opened up his locker and pulled out his vest. He put it on and walked out of the locker room without saying bye to Greg. Nick walked past the AV lab and was quickly walked past Grissom's office when he was stopped by someone calling out his name. He slowly turned round to see Grissom and Catherine standing in the doorway of Grissom's office. Again Nick smiled and greeted the pair.

"How are you feeling?" Grissom asked

"Yeah I'm good. I feel much better thanks."

"We came round to your house when you did not show for work. Did you not hear us trying to get in?" Catherine asked in a tone more forceful than what she wanted it to be.

"Eh no...Sorry I was totally out of it, I don't know really what happened. Sorry guys! It won't happen again".

Grissom nodded and replied "Ok well I'm glad you're feeling better. I want you to go find Warrick and he will fill you in on the case. We managed to solve your case last night".

"Oh ok. That's great".

Nick started to walk away when Grissom shouted after him

"When Catherine and I are finished with our other case we will join you."

Nick lifted his hand up in recognition, but never looked back. He kept walking until he found Warrick.

Warrick was busy looking at the evidence from the previous night. So far nothing had yielded any positive results. The killer left no blood, no seminal fluid, no fingerprints, no nothing. The only thing they could determine so far was that Will, the boy in hospital had pulled his bedside table over. Warrick assumed this happened when the assailant dragged him out of bed. His fingerprints were found on the leg of the table. Warrick looked up and smiled as Nick walked in.

"Hey dude, glad you're back"

"Thanks. What we got?"

Warrick explained the scene to him and watched as Nick listened intently. Warrick soon noticed that something was not right. Nick just nodded along to what was being said, he did not offer any ideas as to what happened. For a moment it looked as though Nick was a million miles away, but he soon focussed again on what Warrick was saying.

Nick listened to what Warrick was saying; he looked at the pictures and shuddered at the thought of what happened last night. He began to think of his friends walking into the scene at his house if he decided to pull the trigger. He was now glad there were no bullets in the gun. Nick realised that he was not listening to began to pay attention again. He listened until Warrick finished speaking. Nick nodded and was about to go and chase up the fibres from trace when Warrick spoke again.

"One last thing, Will Burke, the boy in hospital"

"Yeah, why was he the only one spared?" Nick asked

"Well he was raped in front of his family and then beaten until he lost consciousness; he was stabbed 4 times and left to die"

Nick's face went as white as a sheet, his palms began to feel sweaty and his heart started pumping faster. He felt as though he was going to be sick. Nick took a deep breath before speaking

"He... he was raped?"

"Yeah and that's not the only thing. It looks like the guy we are looking for is a right sicko. I was searching the rest of the house and found this". At that Warrick pulled out the letter and the rose.

"These were found attached to the boy's door".

Nick looked at the items in horror. It brought back the image of his letter and rose in bits in his trash can. He was ready to faint. He could not face the idea that the man who attacked him also attacked someone else and killed his entire family. Nick suddenly felt an urge of guilt. What if he reported his attack? He wondered whether or not he could have prevented this. He wondered if he could have stopped another man from going through the same ordeal as he had to. He was a CSI, he dealt with victims all the time. He was angry that he did not have the courage to speak up and as a result 4 people were made to watch their son and brother being physically attacked before they were murdered. Nick suddenly realised that someone was speaking to him.

"Nick, Nick, NICK!"

"What?" Nick quickly answered back.

"Are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

"Yeah, am fine. It's just a bit sick that's all".

"Yeah I know. This guy is one sick bastard; anyway Greg is heading over to hospital to perform a rape kit".

Nick nodded and before Warrick could do anything Nick ran out of the room and straight to the toilet. He went into the closest cubicle and threw up. He sat there thinking of what to do next. He knew he had to tell them but he was scared. He was scared of how they would react; he was scared that they might be angry with him for contaminating the scene and destroying the evidence. He would have to go to court. He knew he could not face that and began to panic even more. The one thing he feared the most was that once he told them, it would be real. He would be a victim; he would be a case number in the Las Vegas Police Department, another statistic. Nick knew what he had to do. He stood up and walked over the wash hand basin and splashed water over his face. He grabbed a few paper towels and dried his face. Just as he finished drying his face he saw a man standing behind him. It was him. It was the one who attacked him. Nick was scared but he knew what to do. He reached for his gun, turned round and fired. The assailant fell back against the cubicle and Nick watched as he slid to the ground dead.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi here is the next part.

Nick stood there and watched as the blood poured out of his attacker, suddenly the door to the toilet burst open and Warrick, Grissom, Catherine stormed in with their guns at the ready. Nick looked up at them and saw the look of horror in their eyes. Nick looked back at the body... but it was gone, all he could see was two bullet holes in the toilet door. Nick did not know what was happening.

Grissom, Warrick and Catherine stared at Nick who was holding his gun. They looked and saw no one else in the bathroom. He was all alone. They saw the look of confusion on Nick's face. Now they knew that something was the matter.

"Nick! What the hell happened?" Grissom shouted.

Nick looked on in confusion and muttered

"I... I don't know. Somebody was in here, he had a gun. I reached for mine and fired".

Warrick looked at his frightened friend

"Nick, no one came into this toilet. I was across in the other room and the only thing I heard was the gunshots."

"No... No he was definitely here"

"Who was here Nick?" Catherine asked starting to get really concerned for her friend.

"HIM!"

Warrick walked over to his friend and started shaking his shoulders.

"NICK! NICK! Who is him?"

Suddenly Nick was now fully aware of what was going on. He saw Grissom, Catherine and Warrick looking worried, he saw the bullet holes in the bathroom stalls door and he saw himself still holding the gun. Nick dropped the gun and stepped back. He was stunned and frightened at what had happened. He lost all sense of reality and shot up the bathroom. He was losing it. He did not know if he could continue this downward spiral. Nick looked back up at his worried friends, in which all of them had moved closer to him. Nick stepped back and slammed into the sinks, startled he turned to see nothing staring back at him except his own reflection.

Grissom walked over to Nick. He was scared for his friend, he knew something was wrong, but he did not know what. Being a CSI was a tough job and a lot of people could not take it. All that death, all that pain and suffering – many people cracked under the pressure. Grissom feared that this was happening to his friend. He had to calm Nick down. He had to find out what was wrong.

Catherine stood there frozen to the spot, she did not realise that she was still holding her gun; she placed it back in her holster and stared at Nick who was now running his hands through his hair. She was frightened. She wanted to go over and give Nick a hug; she wanted to calm him down but she feared that nothing she could do or say would comfort the young Texan.

Warrick stood there watching a scared friend, a scared friend freaking out at something he knew nothing about. He felt hurt that Nick could not confide in him, he just hoped that now was the catalyst. He hoped now was his chance to find out what was up with the only family Warrick really ever had.

Nick could not take it any longer. He could hear them all asking questions, he could hear them, but he could not speak to them. Nick pushed passed Grissom and Catherine and ran for the door. Warrick stood in his way, he was trapped. He was trapped like the night he was attacked. He could not escape. He could not get out. Nick started shouting and screaming. People were looking in and he felt like a freak show. He felt as though he was display. He could not handle it. He punched Warrick square in the face, Warrick staggered to the side and this gave Nick the chance to run. He stormed out of the toilet and ran as fast as he could. Warrick, Catherine and Grissom ran after him. Nick kept running until he was out of the lab and at his car. Warrick had caught up with Nick and grabbed him. Nick fell to the ground cutting his forehead. Warrick turned him over and began shouting.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He was angry but he was also scared.

"LEAVE ME ALONE! GET OFF ME!"

"No, not until you tell me what is up!"

By this point Catherine and Grissom had caught up and watched on as Nick struggled to break free.

Nick was struggling to break free. He could feel his wounds from the other night starting to open again, blood started to seep through his shirt. At that Warrick stopped and got off his friend. Nick lay there breathing heavily. He watched as his friends looked on in panic and fear. He could not stop it but the tears flowed freely.

Grissom, Catherine and Warrick watched helplessly as there friend broke down in front of them.

Greg walked through the corridors of the hospital until he found Will Burke's room. He walked in and saw the young man (not much younger than him) lying on the hospital bed. He was connected to tubes and machines. Greg gulped at the sight of the men. It brought back some painful memories of when he was attacked. Greg could remember feeling helpless and insecure when he was lying in his hospital bed. He could not imagine what it would be like to wake up to find your family murdered and to cope with being a victim of rape. Greg knew what he had to do. He knew it was essential for them to try and catch the guy, but he also knew that this was another invasion for the victim. Greg opened up his kit and pulled out his camera. He pulled the blanket off of the victim and opened his gown exposing his chiselled body. He took plenty of photos of his wounds. He closed the gown over his torso and raised the gown exposing everything from the waist down. Greg again took photos of the wounds and swabbed the penis. He then swabbed in between his butt cheeks and stored it away as evidence. Greg closed the gown and combed through his hair, he also searched under the finger nails. When Greg was finished he packed up his kit and left. As he entered his car he received a message from the lab. Greg switched on the sirens and raced back to the lab. Something was wrong with Nick and he had to get back to find out what was up with him.

Sara jumped out of her bed when she received her text message. She was scared and worried for her friend. She jumped in her car and sped to the lab.

Nick sat in the break room scared and confused. He knew from his actions that this was the time to tell them. He watched as Sara and Greg ran in through the entrance and straight into Grissom's office. They looked over at Nick which made him feel worse, he felt like a caged animal and everyone was watching him. He knew it was time as his friends walked in and sat down next to him. They all looked at him scared and anxious to find out what was troubling him. Nick stared at the floor and began to speak...


	7. Chapter 7

Here is the next part! Please read and review!

Nick stared at the floor and began to speak... "I... I was not sick yesterday; I was getting ready for work when someone broke into my house"

The team listened intently as Nick spoke, they knew their friend was troubled and now they were finding out why.

Nick continued to speak:

"I was getting out of the shower and I went into my bedroom and there he was, waiting for me".

Warrick looked up and spoke to his friend

"Why did you not phone it in? You know we would have processed the scene for you!"

Nick stared at his friend, but he could not answer his question, instead he started to talk again

"I was in my bedroom when he grabbed me; he tied me up as he raided my room... I could not stop him; there was nothing I could do".

A few tears started to slip down his cheek, a sudden realisation struck Catherine and she gasped in horror, she knew what had happened to him, she just needed him to say it.

"I was lying there and he found out I was CSI, that's when he... he r...raped me".

Nick started to sob uncontrollably while the rest of the team looked at him in complete shock, they could not do or say anything to help Nick. They watched as their friend broke down in front of them.

Grissom stood up from his chair and walked over to Nick. He reached out and touched Nick's shoulder, he shuddered at first but Grissom kept hold of him, suddenly, Nick grabbed hold of his hand and held onto it for dear life. At that moment Nick looked at his supervisor and fell into a tight embrace.

Greg sat their stunned, a tear slipped down his cheek, he wiped it away quickly as he did not want anyone to see that he was weak. He wanted to be strong for his friend. A friend who helped him after his attack...

_Greg woke up screaming! He looked around to see that he was in his bedroom, sweat dripping from him. Greg lay on his bed naked (the doctors had said that too much clothing on his cuts would make them heal slower). At that moment Nick burst into the room and headed straight for his friend:_

"_Greg, are you o.k?" Nick shouted as he got onto Greg's bed._

"_I'm fine, just had another... you know"._

"_Yeah Greg, it's fine, you will come through this, we will help you"_

_Greg smiled but it quickly disappeared_

"_What's up Greg?"_

_Greg looked down at his naked body and over to Nick who was wearing a pair of boxers. Nick looked down to see what Greg was staring at:_

"_OH... Sorry dude, I will let you get under the covers and I'll bring you some breakfast"._

_Greg smiled and started to laugh as Nick began to walk out_

"_What you laughing at?"_

"_Oh nothing Nick, I just never knew you would see the whole package"_

"_Don't get too flattered Greggo, it ain't anything to shout home about". Nick smiled as he opened the door, Greg put on a fake cross face and then smiled._

"_Well!" Greg said_

"_Well what?"_

"_You seen mine! It's only fair I see you know what!"_

_Nick looked at Greg and watched as he tried to act suggestively towards Nick, before Nick could respond Greg burst into a fit of laughter._

_Nick laughed along with his friend and headed to the kitchen._

Greg remembered where he was and shook himself out of his stupor, he watched his friend and knew that no matter what he would be there for Nick.

Sara watched Nick break down in front of them, her heart was aching, she felt as though her family had been attacked once again. Sara watched as Grissom consoled Nick and she could not imagine how he was feeling, yes, she had been through some horrific events in her life, but she never endured what Nick went through. She thought of that moment, that moment lying in the desert thinking that she would never be found.

_She had walked for hours, battered, bruised and weak. She was able to escape the trap set up by the miniature killer and now all she could do was walk. Sara did not know how long she had been walking for but she could not take it, suddenly, she collapsed, she found it difficult to breath, difficult to focus, she slowly drifted in and out of consciousness. Sara lay in the scorching sun of the Nevada desert, she thought she hear her name being called, she tried to shout for help but nothing came out. A shadow covered her face and she looked up, it was Nick. Nick was there, they found her. The last thing she could remember was Nick forcing some water into her mouth._

_Sara woke up in Nevada State Medical Centre hooked up to a heart monitor, drips and an oxygen mask. She looked around her room and instantly saw Nick Stokes staring down at her with that Texan smile of his. Sara smiled and tried to pull of the mask, Nick helped her to remove this and place it above her head._

"_Hi, How are you feeling?" Nick asked_

"_G...G...Grissom?" Sara slowly asked_

"_Oh, he went home to pick you up a few things, he will be back shortly, how you feeling?"_

"_Sore, tired."_

"_Well you get some rest and I'll go get the doctor for you"_

_Sara nodded and watched as Nick started to leave the room_

"_N...Nick"_

_Nick stopped and turned around_

"_Yeah"_

"_Thanks"_

"_For what?" Nick asked_

"_For finding me, I would be dead if it were not for you"_

_Nick walked over and held Sara's hand_

"_Sara we love you, you are a part of our family, we would never let anything happen to you"_

_Sara smiled and watched as Nick gave her hand a tight squeeze and left to go get the doctor._

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP

Sara grabbed her pager and silenced it, she looked around to see Nick sitting with Warrick. Grissom had gone to phone Brass.

Warrick sat consoling his friend; he had been here before but in different circumstances. Warrick remembered taking care of his friend after being buried alive. He knew how to help him get through that, but this time he did not know what to do. Warrick started to think of all the times Nick helped him.

_Warrick stood at the Black Jack table and watched as the dealer dealt the hand, his hands began to sweat, his heart beating furiously, the rush of adrenaline building inside him, all he wanted to do was place a bet. They had just caught the suspect, someone he felt a connection to, someone he felt he could talk to and yet she goes and murders someone. He picked out a wad of notes and placed it on the table and nodded to the dealer to deal him in. Warrick watched as his hand was dealt, in the corner of his eye he saw someone sit down next to him. He looked up and saw Nick sitting next to him._

"_What you doing here?" Warrick asked_

_Nick stared in front of him and replied_

"_I'm playing cards. With my friend."_

_Warrick knew that Nick would always be there for him and that he would always be there for Nick._

Warrick sat and watched his friend, at this point all he could do was to be there for him.

Catherine was still sitting in the break room watching her friends crumble around her, she knew that they were all thinking of Nick in their own way and she knew that somehow they would help Nick through this. Catherine was suddenly reminded of the first day they met 11 years ago.

_Catherine Willows sat in the break room drinking a cup of coffee and reading the crime scene report of their murder case from the previous night. She looked at the evidence logged and hoped they could find something to catch the bastard that strangled a 19 year old college student._

_No DNA, no fingerprints and no matches to the strangulation marks around her neck. Catherine sighed as she took another sip of her coffee._

_At that moment CSI Donna Dunlop walked into the break room and smiled_

"_Hey partner, what's up?" she asked as she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge._

"_Just this case, I don't know how we are going to catch this guy, I mean we have nothing to go on"_

"_Ah don't sweat it! We will find something, we always do"_

_Donna was a pretty CSI and started around the same time as Catherine; they quickly became good friends and worked most cases together. Donna was promoted to CSI level 3 before Catherine and Catherine knew she would get lead supervisor before her. _

_The two of them were talking when all of a sudden Donna stopped and stared out of the break room towards the locker room._

"_Well will you look at that!" Donna stated _

_Catherine turned round and there he was standing in the locker room. She watched as a strange young man whipped his top off and changed into his police vest. She had to admit that he was very handsome. Before she could say anything Donna shouted out _

"_Damn that is one fine, piece of ass. I'll have him right now"_

_Catherine laughed and watched as he walked into the break room_

"_Hi, I am Nick Stokes, I just moved here from Texas"_

_The two of them introduced themselves and watched as he bent over and picked up a pen that had been lying on the floor._

"_Damn" Donna said _

"_Mmmm Mmmm" Catherine murmured_

_Nick looked up and stared at them, they quickly looked away and giggled. Nick smiled and sat down next to Catherine._

_Donna immediately began to flirt with him_

"_So Nick do you have any nicknames?"_

"_Well I get called Nicky from time to time but that's about it"._

"_You wanna know what they call me?" Donna asked_

"_Sure"_

"_Double D for, well, you know?" Donna stated as she pushed her breasts out._

_Catherine burst out laughing, followed by Nick. Catherine stopped laughing and said_

"_No one calls you that, ever!"_

"_Well he did not know that, did he?" Donna shouted in a mocking tone_

"_I'm sorry ma'am, but I think just by looking at you I could tell that no one call you that" Nick said _

_At that point they all burst out laughing._

Catherine stared at her friend and noticed how this job had aged him, he was looking old, tired and after this he was a broken man. She thought of the time he stayed at her house after he confided in her about what happened when he was a child.

_She walked into her living room with cups of cocoa; Nick took a cup and smiled in appreciation. She never said anything; they sat there in silence until Nick was ready to talk. They talked for hours until he was ready to go to bed. Catherine knew he was strong, she knew he was able to cope with what happened._

Catherine just hoped that he would be strong this time.

Grissom had left the room to phone Brass and apprise him of the situation. He knew Brass was shocked and upset even though he did not display this over the phone, Brass was his usual stoic self and vowed to get the sick bastard who did this.

Grissom walked into his office and sat down. He could not believe what had happened. Grissom sat and thought of all the times he had spoken to Nick, all the times he had comforted Nick and all the time Nick comforted him, after all Nick saved Sara's life and for that Grissom owed him a debt of gratitude.

_Grissom stood over the body of his colleague Donna Dunlop, she had been raped, strangled and was found hanging from the wooden beam in her bedroom. He watched a teary eyed Catherine process the scene. He knew that they should have been off the case but he begged Brass to keep them on it. They collected the evidence and headed back to the lab. He could remember everyone crying, he could remember that the lab was eerily quiet, no music, no experiments, no coffee machines on and really no talking. Everyone walked around not focussing on what was happening, then he saw Nick._

_Nick was in the break room consoling Catherine, later on he was making coffee for the lab techs and at one point he was cleaning the floor after the Katie the cleaner burst into tears. Grissom had huge admiration for Nick and knew fine well it was Nick who kept the lab running that day._

Grissom stared at the photo of his team and knew how lucky he was to have a great family. Nick was a part of that family and he vowed, like Brass to get the bastard that did this.

Nick was exhausted; he lay on the sofa in the break room and watched as his friends sat in silence. He lay there as Warrick slowly stroked his hair, calming him down. Nick knew he had to tell them but it did not stop him from feeling ashamed. He knew that they would find the person that did this, he knew what he had to do when he was found, he just had to think of a way to kill him.

Meanwhile, the one person that everyone was looking for was at it again. He walked through the house and picked up his possessions, looking at them, smashing them or stealing them, he was enjoying himself. He enjoyed this even more. He got this address from his previous job. He looked at the photo of his previous victim and smiled at how happy he looked. He then looked at his new victim and smiled

"Hi Archie, I'm a friend of Nick's".

Well please read and review!


	8. Chapter 8

Here is the next bit! Please read and review!

Archie sat there tied to the chair. Stricken with fear and tears streaming down his face. It had been a quiet night at the lab for him, he had no footage to look over and everyone else was concerned about Nick. He knew something was up with Nick but the nightshift had been holed up in the break room for hours. Archie decided to head home.

He walked into his house and placed his keys down on the table next to his phone. He checked his messages and then headed towards the kitchen and poured himself a beer. He took a huge gulp of his drink and was immediately satisfied, then, something felt wrong. Archie could sense someone else in the room and he instinctively reached inside his pocket for his cell phone:

"I don't think you want to do that" said the stranger inside Archie's house.

Archie felt his heart skip a few beats as he heard the guns loading mechanism being pulled back. Archie removed his hand from the pocket and lifted both hands in the air, without turning around he stated

"Just take what you want and leave; I have money in my wallet next to the phone in the living room"

The stranger walked closer to Archie and stated in a low but fierce voice:

"What if I want you?" he sniggered

At that moment Archie turned around to look at the intruder, he was scared, he had a rush of emotions and he did not know what to do. Suddenly, he threw the beer into the intruder's face and ran towards the kitchen door.

What happened next felt like slow motion:

Archie pushed the intruder out of the way and ran towards the kitchen door, a sudden burst of pain seared through his left shoulder, he felt weak, sore and he could feel the blood pouring down his back. Archie fell to the floor and could only watch as the intruder walked over to him, he watched as the intruder smiled at the blood pouring out of his body

"You should not have done that!" he snapped

The intruder dragged Archie into the living room and strapped him to a chair; he exposed the bloody wound and watched as Archie drifted in and out of consciousness.

"Hi Archie, I'm friends with Nick".

Archie began to panic, he tried to struggle free but all he could hear was the intruder laughing at him"

"Now, Archie, don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you, you are not my type"

Archie looked up and screamed

"Well what do you want?"

"Well my dear Archie I want to show your little CSI squad that they can't always stop bad things from happening to people they love"

The intruder walked closer to Archie and whispered

"I will not stop until your little team have suffered"

Before Archie could say anything the intruder headed towards the kitchen. Archie could not see what was happening. He waited and waited as the intruder ransacked his kitchen. The intruder walked in holding a large cutting knife and smiled...

Archie screamed in pain as the knife pierced his chest, he could feel the blood pouring down him, the pain was too much to bear, every time he felt as though he was losing consciousness the intruder would slap him and stab him again. Archie had been stabbed 7 times and was praying that it would soon be over.

The intruder smiled at the pain he caused and watched as Archie slowly began to lose consciousness, he walked over to Archie and set him free from the restraints. Archie slumped forward and fell to the ground. The intruder knelt down on top of him, pinning Archie's legs, he took the knife and in one swift swoop, sliced the knife across Archie's throat. At that he stood up and left, leaving Archie on the floor. Bleeding.

Archie lay there bleeding heavily; he knew he did not have long left. He crawled slowly to his cell phone which was lying on the floor next to the sofa leaving a trail of blood behind him, he flipped it open and pressed the speed dial.

Wendy's phone rang and smiled when she saw it was Archie calling, they had a nice time on their first proper 'date' last week and they had planned to meet over the weekend. She flipped her cell open and answered:

"Hey Archie"

Wendy could hear nothing but heavy breathing

"Archie? You there?"

"H...help , h...h...help me"

Wendy's face went white, panic and fear set in.

"Hold on Archie, I'm getting Grissom for you, just hold on!"

Wendy ran into Grissom's office clutching her cell phone

"Grissom! It's Archie, he's in some kind of trouble"

Grissom stood up and grabbed the cell phone

"Archie, hello, can you hear me?"

This time they heard nothing.

Grissom looked up at Wendy before picking up his phone and calling Brass

"Where was he?" Grissom asked

"H...h...he said he was going home" Wendy stuttered

Grissom gave Brass the details before grabbing his keys, his gun and his badge. He walked out of his office and shouted on the team.

They all looked up and watched as Grissom approached them

"Archie just called in, he is in trouble, Brass is on his way to his apartment.

At that they jumped up and headed out of the break room, Nick followed them but was stopped by Catherine

"Nick you don't have to come, you can stay here and rest"

"No, Archie is my friend, I have to go"

Catherine nodded

"Let's go!"

The team rushed to Archie's apartment, as they approached they saw the flashing lights of the police siren. They parked their car and headed straight to Archie's apartment. The door was already open, officers were outside securing the scene. They walked in and saw him. Archie was lying on the floor. Dead.

They stood there in silence, Nick saw the pain in his friends eyes, he looked at the scene, blood spatter over the walls, a chair on its side, pools of blood all over the beige carpet. Nick could not take it he walked to the entrance when he noticed an envelope attached to the door. Nick pulled a glove from his denim pockets and opened the envelope.

Realisation struck Nick and he ran out of the apartment. He ran to the nearest dumpster and threw up. Nick looked at the letter and read it again

_My dearest Nicky, Oh how I yearn for you again! One day I will be with you, but for now I'll play my games. I'm sorry Archie had to die but you gave me his address..._

_Don't you know you should hide your address book?_

_Xxx_

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